UPS Airline Feedback

[Elaine]

Brenna sent this to me... I loved it, thought you guys might too.

Remember it takes a college degree to fly a plane, but only a high school diploma to fix one. Reassurance for those of us who fly routinely in our jobs.
After every flight, UPS pilots fill out a form, called a 'gripe sheet,' which tells mechanics about problems with the aircraft. The mechanics correct the problems, document their repairs on the form, and then pilots review the gripe sheets before the next flight.
Never let it be said that ground crews lack a sense of humor. Here are some actual maintenance complaints submitted by UPS pilots (marked with a P) and the solutions recorded (marked with an S) by maintenance engineers.

By the way, UPS is the only major airline that has never, ever, had an accident.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

P: Left inside main tire almost needs replacement.

S: Almost replaced left inside main tire.


P: Test flight OK, except auto-land very rough.

S: Auto-land not installed on this aircraft.


P: Something loose in cockpit

S: Something tightened in cockpit


P: Dead bugs on windshield.

S: Live bugs on back-order.


P: Autopilot in altitude-hold mode produces a 200 feet per minute descent

S: Cannot reproduce problem on ground.


P: Evidence of leak on right main landing gear.

S: Evidence removed.


P: DME volume unbelievably loud.

S: DME volume set to more believable level.


P: Friction locks cause throttle levers to stick.

S: That's what friction locks are for.


P: IFF inoperative in OFF mode.

S: IFF always inoperative in OFF mode.


P: Suspected crack in windshield.

S: Suspect you're right.



P: Number 3 engine missing.

S: Engine found on right wing after brief search.



P: Aircraft handles funny. (I love this one!)

S: Aircraft warned to: straighten up, fly right, and be serious.



P: Target radar hums.

S: Reprogrammed target radar with lyrics.



P: Mouse in cockpit.

S: Cat installed.



And the best one for last................ ..


P: Noise coming from under instrument panel. Sounds like a midget pounding on something with a hammer.
S: Took hammer away from midget

[andyhilt27]

Not to take away from the comedy of this but here is a link to the curriculum required to earn an AAS degree as a Aircraft Maintenance Technician. One should note that it requires the completion of around 20 more credit hours than that of an Associates RN degree. It should also be noted that this degree program only requires 10 credit hours of B.S. classes not directly pertaining to this field of study.

This degree is of course not required by all employers. I happened to be browsing this school's website as my employer expressed interest in me taking on more responsibilty supervising maintenance here in the foundry.:D

[dobesign]

I get it!:D It takes 20 more hours to understand an oil pan than it does to understand a bedpan!:p

[Elaine]

very interesting Andy...

I didn't write the preamble to that post... it came to me like that in the email... I just thought some of the responses were funny.

[andyhilt27]

I enjoyed the post very much. I emailed it to a couple of my pilot buddies.


Some of my employees were actually hired through the unemployment office as they were laid off from ATA. I don't care to comment on their performance at the foundry.:D